Sotomayor nom: Exclusive excerpt from “racist” firefighter exam

Gearing up for the Sotomayor nomination to the Supreme Court, the Right is zeroing in on a particular case involving New Haven, CT’s firefighters in which the firefighter exam was ruled “biased” toward white candidates.  Sotomayor upheld the town’s decision to throw out the test results which would have promoted only white candidates taking the test.

A court that looks like us

A court that looks like us

We at panderwatch.com were able to get a copy of the supposedly “biased” exam.  Check out this random excerpt to see if you think the test is biased toward white candidates …

Q12a. Which character on Seinfeld burns down George’s fiance’s parents house in the episode “The Cheever Letters” only to discover that George’s future father in-law was John Cheever’s lover?

a. Jerry

b. Kramer

c. Elaine

d. R. Kelly

Q12b. For extra credit, name one of John Cheever’s best known novels?

_________________________________________________

Q15. In 2003, a nightclub fire in Rhode Island caused the deaths of 95 people due to faulty pyrotechnics created by the 80’s hair metal band Great White.  What was the name of their biggest hit song?

a. Once Bitten Twice Shy

b. Call the Firehouse

c. Yellow Submarine

d. That Bitch Crazy

Q18. One of the movies that firefighters often site as their favorite is “Backdraft” starring Kurt Russel and directed by Ron Howard.  Before becoming a director, Ron Howard was a TV actor.  Name the 70s TV show that Ron Howard is most famous for.

a. Happy Days

b. Coach

c. Tyler Perry’s “House of Payne”

d. Todos a Bordo

Q21. Everyone knows the Marshall Tucker Band song “Fire on the Mountain,” which earned them the Grammy for best country song in 1979.  Who won best country song Grammy in 2003 (the year of the test)?

a.  The Dixie Chicks

b. Big and Rich

c. Eminem

d. R. Kelly

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Forget “socialist,” Obama is now a fascist (it must be true; I heard it on Fox News)

From nealo.com

From yesterday’s “The Caucus” in New York Times

“Rhetorically, Republicans are having a very hard time finding something that raises the consciousness of the average voter,” said Saul Anuzis, a former chairman of the Michigan Republican Party who recently lost a bid to became national party chairman. Workaday labels like “big spender” and “liberal” have lost their punch … So Mr. Anuzis has turned to provocation with a purpose. He calls the president’s domestic agenda “economic fascism.”

“We’ve so overused the word ‘socialism’ that it no longer has the negative connotation it had 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago,” Mr. Anuzis said. “Fascism — everybody still thinks that’s a bad thing.”


No dogs allowedFrom the Decent Press, Claremont, Ohio– “Barack Obama hates cat people,” claims Ohio State Representative (R) Lois Freemantle in a very un-Kanye West-like moment of reflection.  “This whole Portuguese dog thing – Bo or whatever his name is probably isn’t even Christian – it’s just anti-cat is what it is.”   Freemantle is currently looking to sign up fellow cat ladies (she calls them “feline phillies”) to serve in prominent Republican posts.  “This dog worship is pure fascism, plain and simple.”

AP – Glower, SC– “What we got here is a failure to ex-communicate,” says Republican Attorney General Fritz DeForrestation from nearby Korbin county.  “This Obama fella is takin’ over everything, raisin’ taxes on rich people, lowering taxes on poor black folks.  What kind of country are we livin’ in?  Pretty soon there’ll be places for drunks and prostitutes to get free medical treatment.  And, smokin’ pot would be legal!  Fascism is what it is.  But these colors don’t run.  So I’m organizin’ a walk to Washington.  We’re gonna call it the “Million Non-fascist” March.”  Y’all welcome to join me.”

From The Sentinel, Broderick, TX – “We pretty much done with Bush.  He can take his sissy ass to that McMansion in Houston,” says Carrie Station, local Republican party co-chair, who seemed particularly upset to lose a local celebrity.  “But that Obama, I seen a fascist coming from a mile away.  He won’t torture.  He thinks the war on tare is over.  He’s even talking to that Hugo Shabazz guy down in May-hee-co.  When I was young there was a way we dealt with fascists like him down here but I guess we don’t do that no more.  Shame.”

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Farewell to President Bush, a Poem

FAREWELL, and when forth …

Mission Accomplished

Mission Accomplished

I from Marine One to “Executive One”
Steer without smiling, through the sea of smiles,
Isle upon isle, over the mall and cheering multitudes
Isle upon island, to the gilded gates of Dallas
Why should I sail, why should the breeze?
Being President is hard, and I have been “The Decider”
A hopeless sail I spread, and take Cheney with me (the bastard)
Why should I from isle to isle
Sail, a hopeless sailor?
Mission accomplished.

(With apologies to Robert Luis Stevenson)

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This Just In: Coleman and Franken Senate seat a tie

It would appear, regardless of what both right and left leaning blogs would have you believe, that this race is over. 

Frankenberry and Count Coleman

Frankenberry and Count Coleman

The most recent news:  Franken won a decision on Friday to open up more ballots for counting while Coleman is suing to shut down the recount with the expectation that Franken might actually have a few vote advantage.  Sound familiar?  Do you even care at this point?  Dems are up in arms re: Coleman’s attempts to block the count but let’s face it,  Franken would be doing everything he could under the law to stop the recount if the shoe were on the other foot (apologies to the Bush family for the shoe reference but I couldn’t resist). 

Let me be the first to announce the outcome: THE WINNER IS: NOBODY.  With a result this tight (perhaps within 10 votes of over 2.9 million cast after Franken gets his recount) the Secretary of State and board of elections can call it a tie.  Since state law does not allow for a re-do, it’s up to state officials to draw a lot or simply flip a coin.

Rather than flipping a coin, I say they have a duel.  That’s right — a duel to the death (or something close).  BTW, a very patriotic and long standing tradition in this country (see Burr, Aaron vs. Hamilton, Alexander). Besides, don’t we deserve a little entertainment after this mind numbing recount business. 

Gentlemen, choose your weapons:

Yo Yiddisha Momma

Yo Yiddisha Momma

#1. Yo Momma: They both appear on Wilmer Valderrama’s MTV show “Yo Momma” and have to trash talk each other’s Jewish mother (example: “Yo yiddisha momma’s like a Liberal parole officer – she never let’s anyone finish a sentence”).
#2. Project Runway: they have 24 hours to design the perfect prison outfit for Michigan Gov Rod Blagojevich.  Tim Gunn will model each.  Jesse Jackson Jr. helps Heidi pick the winner.
#3. Ice Fishing:  a favorite winter sport in Minnesota, they each have to live in a cabin on the ice for a week with their lawyers.  Whoever gets the most fish or goes the longest without taking a Xanax or an Ambien wins.

#4. Pistol at 20 paces: Or, they can just have Dick Cheney aim his hunting rifle in the opposite direction and we’ll see which guy drops.

 Update from The NY Times (December 16):

Whoever fills the Senate seat is supposed to assume office in early January. If the race is still contested then, the Senate has the power to decide which man takes the seat, Professor Schier said. Democrats hold a majority, but members on both sides of the aisle might be reluctant to decide such a close race, he said.

If there are further legal challenges it may be out of the hands of Minnesota election officials.  The US Senate, then has the right to choose.  Perhaps Franken should just change his name to Kennedy, then he’d be an automatic shoe-in for the seat.

Jan 21, 2009 update: It would appear that being named Kennedy does not guarantee you a Senate seat .  It is now past “early January” and Minnesota still has only one Senator.  However, with Coleman’s lawyers still challenging the recount Harry Reid and other dems are moving to have Franken seated, according to The Associated Press:

“If Al Franken truly believes he won this election, he should respect the laws of his state and allow this legal review to be completed,” said Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas, chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee.

When the chairman of the Republican Senatorial Committe gets in on the action you know it’s moved from Minnesota to the big leagues.  But still no end in sight …

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Schwartzenegger panders to common sense – huh?

Those of you living outside of California (or Kaleeefahneeah) who may not be used to seeing Arnold speak at length about political issues may be surprised to learn something about this former juicer and Hummer enthusiast: he actually gets it.  The Governator is coming out of this presidential election looking better than just about any of his fellow Republicans.

Not only did Arnold conveniently skip the Governor’s Association Conference last week in Florida (he had some real fires to put out) in which solutions were in short supply and grandstanding (see Palin, Sarah) and “message” mumbo jumbo were in full bloom, he made his way to “This Week with George Stephanopolous” and admitted what for Republicans has been the toughest thing to admit in the Bush years: you can’t be a competent party that meets the needs of its people if you keep sticking to the same failed ideology, an ideology that is essentially bankrupt.

Why did it take this long for a national figure in the Republican party to say that building roads, good schools, keeping people in their homes, and saving the environment aren’t “Democratic or Republican” issues but issues that transcend political labels?  Arnold goes on to say that his “core values” are those of the Republican party of Eisenhower and Teddy Roosevelt — when Republicans weren’t afraid to spend money on programs that invested in the future — and are not the “nonsense” core values of his current party. This is such a stark contrast with the Palin rhetoric that relies on embracing “pro-America values” and prayers to a Christian God to govern at the highest level.  At one point in the interview, George S. tells Schwartzenegger that he’s sounding a lot like Obama.  This particular Republican didn’t disagree. 

Palin supporters may be dissapointed to hear one of the most popular stars of their party (and the most famous — prior to the convention) espouse essentially the same non-ideological rhetoric as the terrorist loving, America hating, Marxist President Elect.  Maybe they’ll want to send Arnold back to Austria when President Palin passes her comprehensive immigration bill after 2012.  But it must be music to the ears of many Republicans who have had to suffer through this past election as their man John McCain turned his back on his own values to embrace the Rovian politics of the Dark Side and crackpot ideology of the far Right.  Better late than never I guess.

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Bush and Obama at White House: private conversation caught on tape!

November 10, 2008: Conversation between President George W. Bush and Barack Obama caught on audio tape by press pool sound man at historic White House meeting …

Guess whose coming and staying?

Guess whose coming and staying?

 

 

O: Thanks for having me come to the White House and talk to you today about the transition …

W: Whoa! Hold on Big O, who said anything about transitionin’? Didn’t you get the memo: my buddy Mayor Mike Bloomberg got me a third term – ha!  Just fuckin’ with you. Heh, heh.

O: Mr. President …

W: ‘member last time you were here I gave you some advice?  I think you wrote about it in your book “The Opacity of Hope.” .  Laura may have read it.  Not much of a reader myself, heh, heh.  Anyway, after 8 years of fixin’ this country I’m here to give you some more advice …

O: I appreciate that but we should really be talking about how we’re going to help the American people with the economy, the war …

W: We’ll get to that.  Now, first let me let you in on a somethin’.  You know all these critics been sayin’ I invaded Iraq because of Cheney and his Neo-con boys or because of some Edible complex or whatever.  That wasn’t it at all. You know why I did it?  Mommie.  That’s right, the old gal said “Georgie, you go and take that effin’ Saddam out.” It was that or she would do to me what Jesse Jackson said he was gonnna do to you!  No kidding, you do not mess with that part of Texas! What the hell else could I do?  She practically tore another one for ol’ Brent Scowcroft for trying to talk me out of it. Only gal that scares me more is that Sarah Palin.  She’s a piece of work. Ol’ Johnny Mac’s prostate must’ve grown twice its size after he picked her.

O: Interesting but …

W: And, listen you could appreciate this … you know before Condi got the Secretary job me and her got a lot of alone time together up there in Camp David, if you know what I mean. What’s that expression, “once you got your black you never go back?”  Well, I’ll tell ya, for me it was “once you go brown you can put that sh*t down!”

O: Look sir, I don’t think that’s appropriate …

W: You know, Colin didn’t like that joke either.  What’s wrong with you guys?  You two need to lighten up a little – oops – no pun intended.

O: Can we get back to the agenda?

W: Look now, I’m not only the Decider I’m the Advicer.  I’m givin’ you some good stuff here. 

O: I appreciate your wisdom sir …

W: You’re going to like it here in D.C.  It’s not like Chicago with all that crime, unemployment and stuff.

O: Sir, I hate to correct you but this city has some serious economic problems and as President ….

W: Well I haven’t seen any.  Not from where I’m sittin’. Hey, did you meet my hot little Press Secretary Dana Perino?  She is whip smart and not too hard to look at.  You know since I hired her the press has really gotten off of my case.  You should see that John King from CNN checkin her out – he’s practically speechless around her. I think Bill O’Reilly gets out the loofa every time she’s on C-Span. I heard Rachel Maddow —

O: So is that your advice, Mr. President, on the war and the economy?  Don’t take foreign policy advice from a bitter old hag, don’t sleep with my National Security Advisor, when I’m in D.C. don’t venture outside of Georgetown, and make sure to hire a hot Press Secretary that will turn on the cable guys.  Is that it?

W: Can you do just one more thing for me: I know you’re gonna raise taxes on my friends makin’ more than $250K.  Can you lower the tax rate when it hits, say, $10 million?  I got some things I’m workin’ on with my Saudi brothers for when I got out of this place.

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Post Election Exclusive! McCain and Lindsey Graham late night phone call

Lindsey, are you there?

"Lindsey, are you there? I got a new ePhone."

According Newsweek’s just published special “How He Did It, 2008” disclosures re: the campaign  

On the Sunday night before the last debate, McCain’s core group of advisers—Steve Schmidt, Rick Davis, adman Fred Davis, strategist Greg Strimple, pollster Bill McInturff and strategy director Sarah Simmons—met to decide whether to tell McCain that the race was effectively over, that he no longer had a chance to win. The consensus in the room was no, not yet, not while he still had “a pulse.”

 

Here is an excerpt from a phone call made by John McCain three days later – the morning of the big day

When: October 15, 2:00 a.m.  John McCain unable to sleep before his final debate with Obama dials his good ol’ buddy Lindsey Graham, Republican Senator of South Carolina …

J.M.: Lindsey, hey sorry to call so late I couldn’t sleep …

L.G.: No problem buddy.  I’m just watching last season’s Dancin’ with the Stars on the ol’ TIVO.

J.M.: Did you figure out that VIVO thing yourself?  You are good with the ol’ techno my friend.  I’m going to make you my cyber czar.  Look, Cindy helped me go on the Google and she found this interesting clip from an Obama rally: this plumber guy asked Obama how he’d do under his economic plan …

L.G.: He’d do friggen great, what else is new …

J.M.: No – get this, when he asks Obama how’d he do if he earned more than $250K – chicken scratch for us and from the look of this guy, not gonna happen, but anyway – Obama tells this Joe the Plumber that he might pay higher taxes but that it was okay because if he makes more he should “spread the wealth around.”

L.G.: Makes sense.  We’ve supported that progressive tax stance since way before that asshole W. started on his tax cutting spree for those schmucks at Exxon and put the economy in the toilet.

J.M.: Yea, but don’t you see.  Obama said “spread the wealth.” We could use that.  I was thinking of dropping that on him at the debate:  “Senator, why would you want to spread the wealth, sounds like Socialism to me!”

L.G.: Wow!  That’s so cool – we’ve been looking for a way to get those corn pones in the “real America”  to vote against their own interests.  We lost guns, we’re losing on God even with Palin’s evident hotness, abortion is a wash.  Maybe we could use this Plumber guy.

J.M.: Hold on.  Let’s not make too big a deal about the guy, I’d rather focus on the words.  Besides, we don’t have time to vet him.  He could be a real nut job.

L.G.: Who cares?  He can’t be worse than anything else we got.  This Ayers thing has got no legs except among the racist wackos showing up at our puny events.  And they probably’ll be too drunk on election day to even cast a vote.

J.M.: You’re right.  I’m making the maverick decision. Let’s put this Joe character on every channel.  Let Sarah tongue kiss him on the stump.  Fuck it!  We got nothing to lose at this point.

L.G.: Damn straight, brother … hey John …

J.M.: Yea, Lin.

L.G.: Between this Palin pick, the racist taunts, the suspension of the campaign so you can go to D.C. with no real economic plan, and you looking like a ghost of your former centrist self  –  it looks like we’re gonna lose this thing aren’t we?

J.M.: Put the fork in it, my friend.  But, at least I got to piss off those Bush and Cheney assholes and sink his fuckin’ party into a shit hole that we probably won’t be able to crawl out of for at least 20 years.

L.G.: Ha! Revenge is sweet, my friend.  Especially when served cold – you ol’ maverick!  I haven’t had this much fun since I led the effort in Congress to impeach Clinton.

J.M.: Speaking of cold – is that Kristi Yamaguchi babe the hottest queen on ice or what!  Forget Palin.  Forget DWTS.  I’d let her skate over me in all 7 of my houses!  I’m gonna have a lot of time for entertaining once I get to cut loose again from the ol’ Cind-erella.

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