Tag Archives: Cheney

Bush and Obama at White House: private conversation caught on tape!

November 10, 2008: Conversation between President George W. Bush and Barack Obama caught on audio tape by press pool sound man at historic White House meeting …

Guess whose coming and staying?

Guess whose coming and staying?

 

 

O: Thanks for having me come to the White House and talk to you today about the transition …

W: Whoa! Hold on Big O, who said anything about transitionin’? Didn’t you get the memo: my buddy Mayor Mike Bloomberg got me a third term – ha!  Just fuckin’ with you. Heh, heh.

O: Mr. President …

W: ‘member last time you were here I gave you some advice?  I think you wrote about it in your book “The Opacity of Hope.” .  Laura may have read it.  Not much of a reader myself, heh, heh.  Anyway, after 8 years of fixin’ this country I’m here to give you some more advice …

O: I appreciate that but we should really be talking about how we’re going to help the American people with the economy, the war …

W: We’ll get to that.  Now, first let me let you in on a somethin’.  You know all these critics been sayin’ I invaded Iraq because of Cheney and his Neo-con boys or because of some Edible complex or whatever.  That wasn’t it at all. You know why I did it?  Mommie.  That’s right, the old gal said “Georgie, you go and take that effin’ Saddam out.” It was that or she would do to me what Jesse Jackson said he was gonnna do to you!  No kidding, you do not mess with that part of Texas! What the hell else could I do?  She practically tore another one for ol’ Brent Scowcroft for trying to talk me out of it. Only gal that scares me more is that Sarah Palin.  She’s a piece of work. Ol’ Johnny Mac’s prostate must’ve grown twice its size after he picked her.

O: Interesting but …

W: And, listen you could appreciate this … you know before Condi got the Secretary job me and her got a lot of alone time together up there in Camp David, if you know what I mean. What’s that expression, “once you got your black you never go back?”  Well, I’ll tell ya, for me it was “once you go brown you can put that sh*t down!”

O: Look sir, I don’t think that’s appropriate …

W: You know, Colin didn’t like that joke either.  What’s wrong with you guys?  You two need to lighten up a little – oops – no pun intended.

O: Can we get back to the agenda?

W: Look now, I’m not only the Decider I’m the Advicer.  I’m givin’ you some good stuff here. 

O: I appreciate your wisdom sir …

W: You’re going to like it here in D.C.  It’s not like Chicago with all that crime, unemployment and stuff.

O: Sir, I hate to correct you but this city has some serious economic problems and as President ….

W: Well I haven’t seen any.  Not from where I’m sittin’. Hey, did you meet my hot little Press Secretary Dana Perino?  She is whip smart and not too hard to look at.  You know since I hired her the press has really gotten off of my case.  You should see that John King from CNN checkin her out – he’s practically speechless around her. I think Bill O’Reilly gets out the loofa every time she’s on C-Span. I heard Rachel Maddow —

O: So is that your advice, Mr. President, on the war and the economy?  Don’t take foreign policy advice from a bitter old hag, don’t sleep with my National Security Advisor, when I’m in D.C. don’t venture outside of Georgetown, and make sure to hire a hot Press Secretary that will turn on the cable guys.  Is that it?

W: Can you do just one more thing for me: I know you’re gonna raise taxes on my friends makin’ more than $250K.  Can you lower the tax rate when it hits, say, $10 million?  I got some things I’m workin’ on with my Saudi brothers for when I got out of this place.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Politics, Wordpress Political Blogs

Post Election Exclusive! McCain and Lindsey Graham late night phone call

Lindsey, are you there?

"Lindsey, are you there? I got a new ePhone."

According Newsweek’s just published special “How He Did It, 2008” disclosures re: the campaign  

On the Sunday night before the last debate, McCain’s core group of advisers—Steve Schmidt, Rick Davis, adman Fred Davis, strategist Greg Strimple, pollster Bill McInturff and strategy director Sarah Simmons—met to decide whether to tell McCain that the race was effectively over, that he no longer had a chance to win. The consensus in the room was no, not yet, not while he still had “a pulse.”

 

Here is an excerpt from a phone call made by John McCain three days later – the morning of the big day

When: October 15, 2:00 a.m.  John McCain unable to sleep before his final debate with Obama dials his good ol’ buddy Lindsey Graham, Republican Senator of South Carolina …

J.M.: Lindsey, hey sorry to call so late I couldn’t sleep …

L.G.: No problem buddy.  I’m just watching last season’s Dancin’ with the Stars on the ol’ TIVO.

J.M.: Did you figure out that VIVO thing yourself?  You are good with the ol’ techno my friend.  I’m going to make you my cyber czar.  Look, Cindy helped me go on the Google and she found this interesting clip from an Obama rally: this plumber guy asked Obama how he’d do under his economic plan …

L.G.: He’d do friggen great, what else is new …

J.M.: No – get this, when he asks Obama how’d he do if he earned more than $250K – chicken scratch for us and from the look of this guy, not gonna happen, but anyway – Obama tells this Joe the Plumber that he might pay higher taxes but that it was okay because if he makes more he should “spread the wealth around.”

L.G.: Makes sense.  We’ve supported that progressive tax stance since way before that asshole W. started on his tax cutting spree for those schmucks at Exxon and put the economy in the toilet.

J.M.: Yea, but don’t you see.  Obama said “spread the wealth.” We could use that.  I was thinking of dropping that on him at the debate:  “Senator, why would you want to spread the wealth, sounds like Socialism to me!”

L.G.: Wow!  That’s so cool – we’ve been looking for a way to get those corn pones in the “real America”  to vote against their own interests.  We lost guns, we’re losing on God even with Palin’s evident hotness, abortion is a wash.  Maybe we could use this Plumber guy.

J.M.: Hold on.  Let’s not make too big a deal about the guy, I’d rather focus on the words.  Besides, we don’t have time to vet him.  He could be a real nut job.

L.G.: Who cares?  He can’t be worse than anything else we got.  This Ayers thing has got no legs except among the racist wackos showing up at our puny events.  And they probably’ll be too drunk on election day to even cast a vote.

J.M.: You’re right.  I’m making the maverick decision. Let’s put this Joe character on every channel.  Let Sarah tongue kiss him on the stump.  Fuck it!  We got nothing to lose at this point.

L.G.: Damn straight, brother … hey John …

J.M.: Yea, Lin.

L.G.: Between this Palin pick, the racist taunts, the suspension of the campaign so you can go to D.C. with no real economic plan, and you looking like a ghost of your former centrist self  –  it looks like we’re gonna lose this thing aren’t we?

J.M.: Put the fork in it, my friend.  But, at least I got to piss off those Bush and Cheney assholes and sink his fuckin’ party into a shit hole that we probably won’t be able to crawl out of for at least 20 years.

L.G.: Ha! Revenge is sweet, my friend.  Especially when served cold – you ol’ maverick!  I haven’t had this much fun since I led the effort in Congress to impeach Clinton.

J.M.: Speaking of cold – is that Kristi Yamaguchi babe the hottest queen on ice or what!  Forget Palin.  Forget DWTS.  I’d let her skate over me in all 7 of my houses!  I’m gonna have a lot of time for entertaining once I get to cut loose again from the ol’ Cind-erella.

6 Comments

Filed under Barack Obama, John McCain, Sarah Palin